Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Fall Of A Co-Worker
It's been a very weird week. Yes, I took notes from the concert and plan to tell you all about that. The motherboard on my new computer took a dump on me on Monday (yes, the day that I need it most.) Just got it back a few hours ago. But there is something that's been bugging me since I got a call on Sunday afternoon. And of course, this place is just another form of therapy for someone obsessed with music research.
I think by now that you know from my posts, I love children. My nieces and nephew mean the world to me. You even may recall my post about the inequity when it comes to teacher/student relationships. Yet, this whole week, I've felt the world was just a haze and even struggled with a little nausea after the veil was lifted on the life of a former co-worker.
I did consider this person a friend. (I'm being pretty vague here but you'll understand why shortly.) Had him over to the house and talked to him often. A lot of it was political as he liked to share his correspondence with Harry Reid over immigration. A little effeminate, he would often mention being unhappy with his life. I'd tell him, "Be the alpha-male." Things changed during the last year as he met a woman at friend's party. She was actually upset that he didn't come introduce himself, so a second meeting was scheduled by a mutual friend. He'd call her during his lunch break each night. His new girlfriend has a young daughter and they went on several vacations together. A date was set for getting married next year and he asked me if I'd be willing to go to Jamaica for the event (I told him, I'll be there if you do it in town.) A back injury, after getting hit by a taxi at work, had affected his ability to work. He'd mentioned to me that he wasn't able to do the job much longer because of it. (I expected him to file for disability.) So, I wasn't to worried when I heard that he resigned last week after over a month on leave of absence.
Then I got that call on Sunday afternoon. I was told to look up this co-worker's name at the Clark County Detention Center (pretty good to know that you could do that.) It seems that he's been there since early July... on charges of lewdness and sexual assault of a victim under 14. (Yes, that nauseas feeling!) Of course, he has only been charged but being held on the charges for so long... probably means it's a strong case. What I have less facts about... rumors are that the girlfriend's 6 year-old daughter had a rash and she was taken to the doctor. The little girl told them what happened. My co-worker tried to drive to Hoover Dam to end it all. His brother(s) called to report his intentions and enforcement were able to stop him before he got there.
I find myself shaken in a few different ways over this. The act itself is horrifying. I also find myself questioning my judgment. Can you really know someone well enough to deduce they won't do that? That child is going to need a lot of help. Her mom will be less likely to trust a man again after making such a bad choice. I guess that I've also wondered how I could have considered myself his friend. I'd love to tell that child's mother so many things... I'd love to tell that child that stepfathers and fathers are supposed to love you for being yourself and don't be afraid to tell your Mom anything. I'd also like to smack my former co-worker around a bit and ask him, "What the hell were you thinking?" I don't think there are any just resolutions after something like this when, even on the outside, you just want it to go away.