Tuesday, March 08, 2011

20+

As much as I loathe moving, there is something cathartic to it.  It's a time for you to re-evaluate items you've been holding onto.  The last time I moved (almost 3 years ago when I got married), I discovered a stack of notes from a girl in high school.  I thought that it was funny that here were 20+ letters that were jotted down during a history class that I knew I read but they were scattered in a little paper bag all by themselves.  They came from my senior year and my correspondence with a classroom pseudo-pen pal.  So, I decided to look at the notes.  I told the wife about it and even read them to her -- partially to absolve myself of the contents but also to share in the discovery.  Yes, the girl (no names) was persistent and had a crush.  It even reminded me of a time when she came over (in a tight black leotard... my favorite color) and received a massage... and I didn't take it further.  To this day, I don't know why I didn't (because massages always lead me into trouble) but I do know that some things aren't meant to happen.  I tossed each of the letters away after reading them.  But, being 20+ years older and going over 20+ letters really reminds a man of how much he's grown and how oblivious to some things he can be.

So, it's funny that as I was doing some early pre-packing for the latest move, I discovered another set of letters --  this time from an ex-girlfriend.  You can say she was the first significant one after high school.  No, there weren't 20+ there but I let them sit on the desk for about two months and explained what they were to the wife (with the intention to do the same as before.)  It was as we were talking about the move and some logistics that the phone rang.  I looked over at the letters (post-marked 1991-92) and started opening them.  The wife was on the phone as I browsed the first one, ripped it up, browsed the second, ripped it up... and then just ripped the others up.  I came to the conclusion that sometimes there are reasons why the past is the past and the present is the present.  Holding on to some great memories of the past are fine.  Clinging onto them can be maniacal.  So, I'm feeling good.  Purging some things always lightens my soul and... I was able to share it with the one I love.  Back to packing but... I might have to be more selective of what I keep for now on.  B)

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