Monday, March 27, 2017

Silver And Black Possibilities

I was going to go on a long diatribe about the history of the Raiders moving and the desire to have a stadium without a dirt in-field and unpainted concrete walls.  It just doesn't seem right.  What is weird is having a carrot dangled in front of you.  Just the idea of my team moving to my town is a bit crazy.  Think about it yourself for a moment.  Let's just say that your favorite team (which has a long history but problems with a current and foreseeable business dilemma) mentions where you live as a possible landing spot.  I admit to a lot of denial early on.  With the roller coaster the team has been on with moving, it would have been worse if I got excited about it.  But, I guess things are looking good.  We are hours away from the vote by the NFL owners on the relocation.

Having a good season made for an exciting year as a fan but also to see the excitement of my wife and son is priceless.  I even saw the Mrs. tear up when Derek Carr broke his leg.  Yet, it's even more interesting to see local football fans come to the realization that they could have games come to their town.  They could have something that brings the city together.  I have even heard several talk about a Las Vegas first emotion taking over where they will always pull for a home team win despite being a Cowboys, Steelers or Packers fan.  Pretty crazy.  I guess, it will be an interesting day.  No matter how it goes, it is amazing that it has even become possibility.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Month To Remember

Note to self: Today was a crazy day and caps off an unbelievable month.  So, let's say it here that October 2016 needs to be recognized here on out.  Martin, when you think something is impossible, that the burdens you carry are too heavy or that you aren't worthy of what you have because of your past...remember this month.

Some clarification for readers: I had two great conversations this month that have given me a missing puzzle piece.  Perspective is like that.  When you are missing it, you feel incomplete.  You are drawn to that spot.  You may even resume searching for the piece at strange moments.  So, I am sincerely thankful and humbled.  No more searching.

Friday, April 22, 2016

The Sky Was All Purple...

It is a classic line and yesterday it ran through a lot of brains.  How does one moment define you?  Although the song "1999" wasn't Prince's first hit, it was the first single associating him with the color purple.  Then "Purple Rain" came and reinforced it... along with a movie and some colorful pseudo-Victorian attire.  That moment in time associated the man with the color.  Very strange.

I was contacted yesterday and reminded that I would have been neck-deep in research and song selection for an episode of the show focused on 'the artist' if I was still doing the show.  I would have also been doing so for David Bowie a little bit ago.  I actually miss it and love the research as much as the presentation.

I guess, the hard part about defining ourselves by something, even for a short time, is that we can let ourselves become a template.  Kind of like cookie dough filling in the area of a cookie cutter, we will never be more than that shape until we ditch or change the cutter.  Ending the show was a moment to reclaim the rest of the dough.  Some artists do that to avoid being stereotyped (search MC Hammer Funky Headhunter for kicks) and, heck, a lot of people would like to confine an artist to being defined by one hit single.

Today is a day to remember that you are more than your public perception, definition, color or greatest achievement.  Unless, you happen to be happy with that.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

BDC Release "Blow Me"

I was fortunate enough to interview Nick Richards of Boys Don't Cry a few years ago and got to hear an early demo of a few of their new recordings.  Well, one song called "Blow Me" is now being released as a single via iTunes.  It's fun, funky and a little brash.  I personally love the little keyboard bits here and there and tension it adds to a fun song.  I'd urge you to pick it up but, heck, why not hear it first?

Distance And The Eye Of The Hurricane

It intrigues me the perspective we gain when we are far enough removed from something.  Time is the distance that I found helped me understand a few things.  You see, as happily married as I am now, I believed that I was very shortly happily married at one time.  The big point is that the lessons you learn or didn't learn from your first car will make an impact on your current vehicle.  The habit formed from riding the gas level to its lowest point could cause problems in a newer vehicle that creates vapor lock.  So, something clicked with the past recently and I thought I'd use my regular vague way of expressing it.

At that point of previous happiness, I was really unaware of how unhappy she was.  The first hints were her wanting to take jobs in other states and later telling me that, when we were next to each other, everything is great but when we are apart -- she was unhappy.  I asked about therapy but that was turned down.  After asking for a separation and later an exit, I would look back thinking that maybe postpartum depression was involved.

During the last few years, I've regained my physical health.  I have a rather physically demanding job.  I had a moment of clarity recently when I started thinking about my previous physical well-being.  I had an earlier workday.  I would come home sore and tired.  I was popping ibuprofen and wrapping my wrists/ankles because of what I believed (and was told by doctors) were strains.  I gained weight.  My blood pressure went up.  I was chronically tired and also slept a lot more.  We stopped going out to do things.  Mentally, there were unresolved questions that I promised to brush aside for the stability of the relationship.  All these things have now made me think of one thing... I may have been going through depression.

Being in the moment, on the football field, you have only your vision around you, the sounds around you and your awareness.  Living is like that.  You are really in the eye of the hurricane and the ability to step back and review isn't often there.  Would things have been better if I stretched or exercised more back then?  Maybe.  Would things have been different if I got therapy?  It's very possible.  It took several years but I am in a much better place right now.  I forgive that younger me for being stuck in a moment and the ex for the direction things went.

All I know is that things seem more clear.  Now, it is all about how I put that knowledge to good use in the here and now as well as the future.  I am happier, healthier and hopefully a little more aware.  If this helps someone, I feel like I passed something on.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Life Update: 040214

Last month was pretty busy and it's a good time to wrap it up here.

    We signed an offer on a home (still in Henderson) and should entirely be moved in by July 1.  A lot of work will be involved (with a month or more of projects before moving) but it just means all my viewing of DIY Network and HGTV will come to good use (and will probably include new ones to join my other TV show recordings.)

    Moving is kind of like spring cleaning for pack rats.  So much so that you'd probably hear me squeak every time the family decides on what makes the cut and what goes to charity.  Books, DVDs, furniture... they will all go through some American Idol type of contest.  Which reminds me of that one series of posts I did years ago with my shirts here on the site.  Speaking of that, our first bags of clothes have been sent out.  I had 4 of those zip-lock type storage bags for clothes full of things Kerry had never seen before... some about 2 decades old.  I modeled the stuff and let her decide if she could bear seeing me in them.

    Goals and attaining them, we finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel.  We've bee working with David on driving for quite some time.  First it was weekends in parking lots.  Then it was a few streets here and there.  During our summer trip, he drove a leg from Las Vegas to Baker.  David's next step was taking his driving test and, on top of a few other errors, one big one (in timing his entering into traffic) prevented them from passing him.  For the next few weeks, I had him drive to school with me while I drove the car back home.  Kerry would also take him out at night when she could.  He passed with a 95 on the last day of the month.  Yesterday was his first day driving to school without anyone in the care with him.  Ok, sure, I followed him... sue me.  He drove back home by himself.  Today he told me he was ready to go and I told him, "I think you are ready.  I'm not following you today."  He sent me a text when he arrived.

    We've been pricing all the new appliances, tile and all sorts of things needed for the new house and the wife has been trying to calm me down.  I don't like numbers.  I really don't like numbers that have a real world meaning.  I like them even less when I start thinking, "Isn't someone giving something like this away on Craigslist or something?"

    Kerry and I celebrated our 6th anniversary and decided to keep with our go to a different town each year trend with a trip to the Pahrump Winery and their Symphony restaurant.  Last time I was there was over 20 years ago.  The wine that is named for their restaurant was impressive as well as their red blend.  Wish I could have picked up a few bottles there but It looks like we will just have to make a return trip.  Kerry was pretty impressed with the food.  I was impressed with the company.  I am a lucky and blessed man that doesn't deserve to live this well.

    Started a new workout called Focus T25 today.  I'm sure, once I adjust, I'll be alright but it's quite different from Les Mills Combat and I had a few shaky moments starting out.

    Been doing some research on the Turtle Mountain Indian Reservation.  I really haven't talked about that part of the family here much but I am part Chippewa.  I think that I have visited there, at most, 3 times.  Once for St. John, North Dakota's 100th anniversary in 1982, once for grandpa's funeral and I believe once on a quick trip through on vacation (which could be confused with the first one as I was just about to turn 11.)  As one of the oldest structures in town, Grandpa's house has became a visitor's center.  I recently learned that he used to give out pennies during Halloween.  Well, you have to account for inflation but it was worth more back then.

    Looks like we are going to be spending a lot of our vacation time this year working on the house.  We will still make it off to Sacramento and a few days in November for my brother's wedding.