Tuesday, September 23, 2014
At that point of previous happiness, I was really unaware of how unhappy she was. The first hints were her wanting to take jobs in other states and later telling me that, when we were next to each other, everything is great but when we are apart -- she was unhappy. I asked about therapy but that was turned down. After asking for a separation and later an exit, I would look back thinking that maybe postpartum depression was involved.
During the last few years, I've regained my physical health. I have a rather physically demanding job. I had a moment of clarity recently when I started thinking about my previous physical well-being. I had an earlier workday. I would come home sore and tired. I was popping ibuprofen and wrapping my wrists/ankles because of what I believed (and was told by doctors) were strains. I gained weight. My blood pressure went up. I was chronically tired and also slept a lot more. We stopped going out to do things. Mentally, there were unresolved questions that I promised to brush aside for the stability of the relationship. All these things have now made me think of one thing... I may have been going through depression.
Being in the moment, on the football field, you have only your vision around you, the sounds around you and your awareness. Living is like that. You are really in the eye of the hurricane and the ability to step back and review isn't often there. Would things have been better if I stretched or exercised more back then? Maybe. Would things have been different if I got therapy? It's very possible. It took several years but I am in a much better place right now. I forgive that younger me for being stuck in a moment and the ex for the direction things went.
All I know is that things seem more clear. Now, it is all about how I put that knowledge to good use in the here and now as well as the future. I am happier, healthier and hopefully a little more aware. If this helps someone, I feel like I passed something on.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Moving is kind of like spring cleaning for pack rats. So much so that you'd probably hear me squeak every time the family decides on what makes the cut and what goes to charity. Books, DVDs, furniture... they will all go through some American Idol type of contest. Which reminds me of that one series of posts I did years ago with my shirts here on the site. Speaking of that, our first bags of clothes have been sent out. I had 4 of those zip-lock type storage bags for clothes full of things Kerry had never seen before... some about 2 decades old. I modeled the stuff and let her decide if she could bear seeing me in them.
Goals and attaining them, we finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel. We've bee working with David on driving for quite some time. First it was weekends in parking lots. Then it was a few streets here and there. During our summer trip, he drove a leg from Las Vegas to Baker. David's next step was taking his driving test and, on top of a few other errors, one big one (in timing his entering into traffic) prevented them from passing him. For the next few weeks, I had him drive to school with me while I drove the car back home. Kerry would also take him out at night when she could. He passed with a 95 on the last day of the month. Yesterday was his first day driving to school without anyone in the care with him. Ok, sure, I followed him... sue me. He drove back home by himself. Today he told me he was ready to go and I told him, "I think you are ready. I'm not following you today." He sent me a text when he arrived.
We've been pricing all the new appliances, tile and all sorts of things needed for the new house and the wife has been trying to calm me down. I don't like numbers. I really don't like numbers that have a real world meaning. I like them even less when I start thinking, "Isn't someone giving something like this away on Craigslist or something?"
Kerry and I celebrated our 6th anniversary and decided to keep with our go to a different town each year trend with a trip to the Pahrump Winery and their Symphony restaurant. Last time I was there was over 20 years ago. The wine that is named for their restaurant was impressive as well as their red blend. Wish I could have picked up a few bottles there but It looks like we will just have to make a return trip. Kerry was pretty impressed with the food. I was impressed with the company. I am a lucky and blessed man that doesn't deserve to live this well.
Started a new workout called Focus T25 today. I'm sure, once I adjust, I'll be alright but it's quite different from Les Mills Combat and I had a few shaky moments starting out.
Been doing some research on the Turtle Mountain Indian Reservation. I really haven't talked about that part of the family here much but I am part Chippewa. I think that I have visited there, at most, 3 times. Once for St. John, North Dakota's 100th anniversary in 1982, once for grandpa's funeral and I believe once on a quick trip through on vacation (which could be confused with the first one as I was just about to turn 11.) As one of the oldest structures in town, Grandpa's house has became a visitor's center. I recently learned that he used to give out pennies during Halloween. Well, you have to account for inflation but it was worth more back then.
Looks like we are going to be spending a lot of our vacation time this year working on the house. We will still make it off to Sacramento and a few days in November for my brother's wedding.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Friday, December 13, 2013
You have been busy with life. Things get hectic but you still need to get some things done right or it will take more effort to fix it or you'll remain frustrated later. That is where this tip comes in handy.
Guys. If you are taking the girlfriend on a trip, you must book the room yourself. Yes, this could be out of your comfort zone. You may get yelled at for picking a lousy hotel, room or view but, trust me, you must do it. Why?
Hotels have stepped up in the last dozen years. The idea of customer service ranks high and to them that means familiarity. So you will find you are asked for your name, called by that name and it will sound forced while it is repeated often. Technology is amazing because they have your name in the computer once you book the room. You use that name again when you check in. So, they will repeat it thinking customer service wins over customers. If the name is wrongly spelled, expect to hear it mispronounced often.
Ladies. I will not leave you out. If you really want to mess with your boyfriend, book the room yourself. Why? Because nothing upsets a guy more than being called Mr. (enter your last name) more than once per time you meet an employee. He may even correct that one person but it will not be changed in the computer and he will get called that way again by the next one. That could be about 8 times a day if you work it out right.
Guys. If you are reading this too late, do not answer the door, phone or approach a desk of any type to avoid this issue. My apologies if she read this first.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Fans of the band Depeche Mode will really enjoy this but it's still a curiosity for non-fans and maybe a hater or two. Dicken Schrader is simply a creative man -- the native Colombian is a video artist with skills that become more apparent (a parent... didn't expect that one to slip in here) as we go. Possibly his biggest gift is being able to bring his family together with music.
In 2010, Dicken started recording music videos with his kids Milah and Korben under the name DMK covering songs by Depeche Mode. The first one, a version of "Shake The Disease," started the ball rolling and you can see the the kids' progress. The videos are getting... well, let's put it this way, their version of "Everything Counts" now has 2.6 million views (not counting yours of course.) They have even moved on to performing live -- as seen in the final video posted below. So, chronologically, enjoy the DMK!
Shake The Disease
Enjoy The Silence
Just Can't Get Enough
I hope you enjoyed this journey. Makes you want to find a favorite band and teach the kids some songs, doesn't it? Oh, btw, the kids have another sibling that was born this year. So, I don't know if they will need to change the group's name by then or if they will have to start doing New Order covers. Have a great weekend!