I Knew I Shoulda Taken That Left Turn At Albuquerque!

 

I can't avoid thinking of Bugs Bunny when thinking about where we woke up today.  It was a hard drive as the potholes in Arizona are no joke but day 1 is finished and we pulled into Albuquerque for the night.  I feel sorry for anyone living there only for the fact that they have to spell the city's name over and over.  But, again we were pretty tired and ready to pass out.  The doggies traveled pretty well once we got going.

The next morning we were ready to hit the road and Jake did a quick inspection of the car and truck as I pulled the tarp on the truck tighter.  If he hadn't done that, we wouldn't have spotted our deflated tire.  So, after unsuccessfully attempting to inflate it as we got our morning coffee, we decided to head to the closest tire store to ensure we would be safe for the road.

One new tire later, we are on our way to Lubbock and our new home state.

Emptying The Nest and Hitting The Road

 

Today is the day.  This photo above is our final farewell to the valley I called home for the last 50 years.  The next 50 look pretty bright with my co-pilot for life.  The packing and loading would not have gone as well as it did without the early assistance of my brother-in-law Cory and the sweat and hard work of my sister-in-law Kelly and nephew Jake.  Although we thought we would have more than enough room, we did not.  A last minute save came from our neighbor Roy.  We were unable to get our BBQ, lawnmower and many last minute big items in and he took them off our hands.  We were at wits end and he made it happen.  I hope he can use the items or sell them and make some cash.

It was a tough day as beyond the loading of things, our baby bird flew the nest.  David is growing with his job (recently promoted internally) and has a relationship he wants to stay and build on.  This wasn't easy but I'm so freaking proud of him and the man he's become.  I know he is meant to do great things in this life and he is well on his way.  It is just going to be tough not having him close.

You can see how tightly packed the trailer was in the photo of Jake and David.  There were some tearful goodbye's.  It was really hard on Kerry but I also know she has been ready to leave for awhile.  The gameplan is to make it into Albuquerque, New Mexico tonight if all goes well.  I feel like we got away with something because there were so many ways for this to not happen or happen within our timeline.  Wish us luck and send a prayer or two.

 

 

Farewell Las Vegas

 

It has been a flurry of packing and arranging with a few breaks inbetween.  We started loading the moving trailer today after my last physical day at work.  My co-workers came out tonight to the Crown & Anchor not far from the big green monster and had some food and drinks.  I also dragged my wife's family with me as it was the last we would see some of them although two of them are helping during the move.  We had a great time and stayed long enough to take a few waves of photos.  I know we missed photos of several others but this was really nice and a preserved memory.

I have always loved the food and have some great memories of the place.  So it was a farewell to Crown & Anchor as well.  I couldn't have worked with a better staff and in my resignation letter I urged the department head to keep this family together and strong.  They are a special crew and I have amazing memories with each and every one of them.  I'm blessed to have known you and I've become a better person in your presence because of your presence in my life.

Yes, I think you now know what I mean by feeling overwhelmed.  It is going up somewhere that I will be able to look at it often.  They are pretty amazing friends and I'm going to miss them.  Thank you for everything.

Long Goodbyes And Signs

 

It isn't easy to announce that you are leaving when you have 3 months before leaving a job that you've had for almost 3 decades.  Heck, it's hard to tell family that you plan to leave the area after 5 decades as well.  I let just a few people know early on.  The timing was odd as a co-worker had recently passed away, another was announcing his retirement and one out fighting cancer.  And (on the family side) I mentioned my brother moving back to town which was giving my mother the idea that all her family was now going to be close again.  We decided in early April to move and I was more forthcoming about it by the end of May and June was openly talking about it.  There was a wide range of shock as I was never someone that mentioned wanting to leave the Las Vegas valley.

Long goodbyes are tough.  If you are at a party and an hour in you walk around mentioning that you are going to leave and then you are still there hours later, those people you told spend those hours thinking every time they see you "he's leaving soon" and may start wondering why you are still there.  That was the last thing I wanted.  I actually had someone tell me how hard it was to see me because they knew that I was soon not going to be there.  Life is weird like that.

So it suprised me when I walked around the corner during work and saw someone writing on something.  It seems that my friend Tony talked to another friend Don about painting a Raider logo on a framed canvas and my co-workers were writing farewell notes on it.  I don't think I've ever been emotionally hit like that at work.  I love the crew that I work with and it may be the hardest part of leaving.  So, I slyly took a picture of it and put it aside for now.  I know that I'll be staring at it often once I move.

Overlooked But Not Underappreciated

 Remember that house hunting marathon I mentioned?  Well, we had our top 2 that we were interested in and at this point we agreed to deals but something was wrong with both.  I think those are big learning experiences as long as we apply them appropriately in the future.  So, there was this other house but something seemed off about it.  I think we shut down our open minds when Kerry found something that I would optimisticly call carpet glue coming up the baseboards in one room.  By then we thought we had 2 good contenders and shut off all thought about it.  But, we refreshed our minds with photos and decided to move forward on this little home (ok, it's 200 sq. ft. bigger inside and a 4,000 sq. ft bigger lot than our Henderson house.)

Situated in the small town of Nolanville, this 4 bedroom and 2 bath home, to me, is a perfect blank slate.  There is nothing that direly needs repair but a lot of areas we can make improvements and where we can put our own personal touch.  There were some minor issues that we need to work on but nothing that is immediate like a possible fire hazard.  I would definitely have to get used to yard work again.  Our fingers are crossed on this one.  We have started the process here and it looks like we may close just after our escrow with our Henderson house ends.

I said there might be some upside to our dalliances with those 3 other homes we were involved in.  This was among the group we went house to house viewing last month.  The Zillow listing on it might have kept it on the market longer than it should have been.  There were photos mixed in that didn't belong to the home and as the main photo of the house (which should be the one I posted here) was instead a photo of the back of the house.  So, when going through homes it looked odd as there was no garage, driveway or noticable front door.  The brain doesn't want to process odd when thinking "home."  We were able to offer $4,000 less as it was still sitting on the market and we saved some more by timing it with the other closing.

As of today, we are under 4 weeks from moving so we decided on renting an AirBNB for a month.  Our reasoning is that, if we don't secure a home in time, we have a place to rest our heads.  It also gives us time to do work and slowly move our things in.  The math also works out as we were looking at several motels and the lowest we found was $99 a night average even if booked for a whole month.  Then there is a $30 per dog daily fee added on...and we aren't going to go without them.  So $159 per night is pretty hefty and for that $99 we got a whole house which allows us to treat our helpers.  Kerry's twin sister Kelly and nephew Jake are coming to help us move.  A friend of Kelly's is going to join us for a bit once we get to town as well.

This Little Indian...

 Thankfully, both of those offers were accepted for the top houses we saw on the trip.  We pulled the other offer a few days into the process and went forward with a house on Cherokee Dr. in nearby Harker Heights.  It financially fit, was a good amount of square footage, Kerry liked the backyard, I liked the sun room and we both liked the kitchen.  So we paid for an inspection and I started adding it to my resumes I was sending out.

Once we got the inspection back, there were quite a few items that needed work but most important was the electrical system.  The breaker box was recalled decades ago, was overloaded, several outlets were missing grounding, reverse polarity or not working.  For someone that works from home, that would be a big problem.  So we got an estimate back and sent that along with our counteroffer.  It was going to cost close to $8,000 to replace and move the breaker box (which was in a hazarous spot close to clothing in a closet), rewire and ground all the outlets (several GFCIs were missing.)  They came back with a $1,000 price drop and said that was the estimate they got.

So we had to consider if we were overquoted, are we getting a quote on his side from a friend who isn't going to be fixing everything needed, are the issues beyond the electrical going to add that much more to the price and what if there are more things that we don't know about yet.  I should probably mention one issue specifically, the sun room.

I really want an area that we could put our workout equipment and, as you can see from the photo, you could watch the sun rise as you hit the treadmill or weights in the morning.  Maybe we could even sit down and have coffee and watch the news a little afterward.  But, being optimistic, there are a few holes in the windows in the room from small rocks?  Or maybe BB's?  There are also few outlets, little insulation and, if this is included in the square footage, it makes the interior even smaller than we thought.

With so many variables and what seemed light an offensive counter-offer, this Chippewa withdrew from Cherokee.  It cost us for the expedited estimates and the inspection but it was worth it.  We learned a lot and we will be using the same inspection company again.  But I think that this was meant to be as, if we had gone through with the purchase, it would have cost us more to get a bridge loan until we sell the Henderson home.

Tangled Woods And Timber

That first choice really did speak to us.  There was something about the inside of the home that was warm and...ok, I think Kerry liked the barn door to one of the rooms.  But it was a big house with a big split-level backyard.  It was on a street called Tanglewood and there are a ton of trees.

Love the stone work on the outside and it really is nice.  So, a few days into the process, Kerry and I pulled that offer.  There was something that stood out and worried us.  It was that split-level backyard.  The area is split by use of a retaining wall that was held up by railroad ties (usually soaked in creosote.)

 

So, the thing that keeps the wood from rotting is also considered an environmental hazard.  If we were to get a bobcat back there to rebuild, the removal of damaged railroad ties might become an issue.  See the wood brace that is in the middle of the screen?  It means the owners were worried about it collapsing and I can't imagine how much the work would be and costs to remove and dispose of the wood would be.  So...we still have our second option which was really nice as well.

Kinda Day-Trippin'

 So, we decided to do something a little crazy.  Ok, it's hard to say that so soon after saying we are moving.  But, since we know we are moving and we know we need to see some of the homes we are deciding on, we took a drive to Texas.  With our 3 vehicles, we decided to drop one off there so we could drive 2 of them when we move on July 4th.  We scheduled a flight for today and that meant that we would try to hit as many homes as we have on our list before leaving.

Kerry drove the first leg and "kicked Arizona's ass."  I took the next leg and we arrived in Temple early yesterday.  We needed a quick clean up and decided to go to Buc-ee's.  I really should take some time and talk about its gloriousness but this is about the trip and a crazy 48 hours.  We grabbed food and went to get coffee before meeting with our agent Tiffany.  If you are looking in the area, I highly recommend her and can get you in touch.

At this point my brain was kind of shutting down.  I let Kerry take this leg of the trip as we followed Tiffany house to house...to about 9 houses all over the area.  By the end, we had a really good idea of what we were interested in and went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner before going to sleep.  Prior to going to sleep, I told Tiffany to put offers in on two of the properties.

We woke up the next morning, went to see aunt Karen and uncle Sonny and dropped the car off with them.  They took us to the airport and we are now home.  This was a crazy trip but highly productive and we've heard back from one of the offers already (our top choice) and started the process.  The ball is rolling.

 

A Wet Day At The Park

 Of course, another bit of odd timing with moving was that it came just as my brother Michael moved back to Vegas.  Which meant that the family was all together again for a short while...and now I announce I'm leaving.  But, we had a great day today!  Kerry and I spent the day with my nephew (name withheld to protect the innocent.)  He has a ton of energy and a good heart.

After hanging out with Kerry and the doggies, I took him to Acacia Park near the house.  It's a beautiful little place with a few places for dogs, baseball area, soccer area, slides, jungle gym and splash pad.  I've never seen anyone that excited about a splash pad.  The big plan was to let him wear himself out a bit but he met a few other kids that ran around with just as much enthusiasm.

We did dry him off before Michael came to pick him up but I'm so overjoyed to have a moment in time with this young man.  If he's anything like his parents, he's going to be a light that attracts many people.  It was a great way to say goodbye to the park.

Under The Influence: Alpha

During the 5-year run of Talking 80s Music, I mentioned 1983 and how important that year was musically to me.  I've had a long-standing belief that a lot of the influence on your music choices come from a young age... as early as 12.  (I'd still love to see a research paper on it.)  I specifically remember being at a friend's house (her name was Princess) for a birthday party and, prior to the party, they had MTV on.  I recall 2 specific songs from that day, "Puttin' On The Ritz" from Taco and "Don't Cry" from Asia.  One got me into modern Jazz covers and the other put arena rock on the musical map for me.  I still have this on vinyl in a box in my closet.  Such a beautiful cover created by Roger Dean.

There is something upbeat and optimistic about "Don't Cry" that also touches on that inner white knight in me.  I also found myself endeared to the emotional "The Smile Has Left Your Eyes."  So many good moments on here like "Last To Know," "The Heat Goes On," "Never In A Million Years" and "My Own Time (I'll Do What I Want)" but this is probably the first album that I wanted to hear in order.  The singles were great but I really liked the balance in energy from song to song.  The production and use of keyboards to enhance the landscape of the music impressed my young mind.  I definitely believe this led me into the rest of their catalog, Styx, Journey, Foreigner, The Alan Parsons Project and Rush.  This almost didn't make it here but a lot of albums are going to miss this list.

Under The Influence: Johnny Diesel & The Injectors

Staring at me right now is a 7-piece set of Hohner Piedmont Blues harmonicas on my DVD shelf in my office.  I really do need to spend some time with them soon.  You see, I had a cheap little harmonica that I would carry in my black leather jacket during high school.  Now, I could barely play a blues riff on it but I loved it.  During that time, I had a rotation of cassettes for my VW in a storage case usually under the passenger seat.  1989's eponymous debut Johnny Diesel & The Injectors would become my blues fix.  I caught a video for, "Don't Need Love," their first single from the album on MTV late at night and was drawn in.  This album would send me off to shop later for Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble, Eric Clapton and the Robert Cray Band.

The album has my favorite rendition of "Since I Fell For You" on it as well as a few other standards.  But, the originals like "Don't Need Love," "Cry In Shame," "Fire Without A Flame," "Lookin' For Love" and "Soul Revival" kept me going back.  Mark Lizotte is still one of the most underrated guitarists out there to this day.  He makes his instrument cry all over this album.  The sax really holds its own on these tracks while the rhythm section is solid.  I'm probably going to listen to it again, right now.

Under The Influence: Mind: The Perpetual Intercourse

Remember me mentioning 'found sounds'?  Well, that's what leads us here to Skinny Puppy's 1986 album, Mind: The Perpetual Intercourse.  This had to be here as it made a big influence on my music purchases and enjoyment.  This was the kind of music that when I was my worst moods, I would turn off the lights, lay down, close my eyes and escape into -- knowing that life really was better when you returned from the journey.  I remember hearing some tracks at a friend's house and at that time I would listen to KUNV's program Difficult Listening which would challenge the brain a bit.  So, back to found sounds, Skinny Puppy has a way of taking it to a different level by including movie lines, guitars, vocalist Ogre's abrasive spoken-word poetry and sampled sounds all on top a layer of synth.

The progression of the band's career musically is worth hearing.  But M:TPI is one of their big steps forward.  Too many great moments here to list from opener "One Time One Place," the stunning "Love.," "Deep Down Trauma Hounds," "200 Years," "Chainsaw," "Addiction" and much more.  This album may not be for everyone but I believe musically and in life we have poles.  We have markers that set boundaries and Mind: The Perpetual Intercourse set a flag further out on my musical landscape than any other.  It made it easier to describe acts like Ministry, Throbbing Gristle and Nine Inch Nails.  So, if you are looking to expand your borders... take a journey.

Under The Influence: Some Great Reward

I specifically remember the video for "People Are People" first appearing on local UHF music channel KRLR 21.  At that time it was branded as Las Vegas' Vusic (video music) Channel.  Yes, if for some reason you didn't have MTV for a time, you had KRLR.  So the video first appearing was my first introduction to industrial 'found sounds.'  I was lucky enough to discuss the topic with Andrew McCluskey of OMD during a Talking 80s Music episode several years ago.  Some Great Reward was also an introduction into the impressive songwriting of Martin L. Gore.  It barely beat out the less experimental but much more endearing Music For The Masses but if the list is about inspiring me musically...this one earned it.

Depeche Mode's 1984 album was a 9 song journey through love, faith, BDSM, equality, change and desire.  I remember sitting in the back seat of a friend Julee's car and hearing "Blasphemous Rumours" and thinking the line "I think that dog's got a sick sense of humor" was insane but maybe a quizzical blurb.  My misunderstanding, funny as it was, brought me closer to the song which examines faith in controversial moments.  "Somebody" is probably one of the most beautiful presentations of one's hopes for a future relationship...which is why it is used at many weddings.  I could actually go through each track on this album and how they affected me but it's something you should do yourself if you haven't.

Under The Influence: Shout At The Devil

Not my first experience with the genre of heavy metal, but Motley Crue's 1983 sophomore album, Shout At The Devil, was an important step for me.  Personally, it was a strange time as I received a copy of it from a beautiful girl who meant a lot to me.  I believe she was also the first girl I ever kissed, but we aren't going to out her here as she has and created an amazing life and family since.  It was a gift around a time that I was changing schools and my parents had divorced.

I still can visualize the moment after school on the day that I put the cassette into the stereo and cranked it up (because it starts so softly.)  I also remember racing to the volume knob to turn it down seconds later.  The intro "In The Beginning" is epic and very dystopian.  It's funny to see this in context as I just posted about the Beatles and this includes a great cover of their "Helter Skelter." It could be the teenage angst, family issues and emotional issues that most of the songs made a connection.  The singles were solid and each song made you want to sing along... well except the instrumental for obvious reasons.

I believe that because it didn't come with lyrics, photos and all the promotional fixings that imagery was overlooked on my part.  As I am usually focused on lyricism, the words meant less to me because I wasn't reading along during my first listen. 

The album still takes me back to a time in my life full of change.  Shout At The Devil may not have led me to the occult but led me towards other albums and artists.  I think metal guitar has a purpose and I felt it first here on an album full of rebellion, energy and passion.

Under The Influence: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I decided to use the blog to expand upon the intentionally vague Facebook posts about the top 10 albums that influenced my musical tastes.  Just the covers are posted there but I figure context is pretty important and why not rant a little on them.

The early 1980s in Las Vegas were an interesting time for radio as we had stations regularly playing older music.  I believe a lot of this could be due to the 1981 release of the "Stars On 45 Medley" single which started with a few other songs ("Venus" and "Sugar, Sugar") which lead into The Beatles songs ("No Reply," "I'll Be Back," "Drive My Car," "Do You Want To Know A Secret," "We Can Work It Out," "I Should Have Known Better," "Nowhere Man" and "You're Going To Lose That Girl.")  The following year, The Beatles would be behind the release of  "The Beatles' Movie Medley," which would include "Magical Mystery Tour," "All You Need Is Love," "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away," "I Should Have Known Better, " "A Hard Day's Night," "Ticket To Ride" and "Get Back."  This resurgence also saw two reissued singles, "Love Me Do" in 1982 and "Twist And Shout" in 1986 (mostly due to the success of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)  So, amidst the embers of disco and emerging New Wave was something retro and different.

The song "Nowhere Man" from Stars On 45 stuck in my head.  I don't know why but I would even harmonize with a friend in elementary schoold singing the song and a few others.  But, it is funny that I only knew the snippet that was from the medley.  But my interest in the songs and the Beatles' music would later inspire my mother to pick up a copy of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hears Club Band on cassette for me.  I delved deep into the 1967 creation until the wheels on the cartridge seized and tape spewed everywhere.

I am a true believer in music challenging the listener's ear.  My 3 listens rule definitely applied here but I think the pop sections reel you back in for more.  The stylistic range of the album is as wide as the subject matter and vocal styles.  I think this really this opened me up to accepting a lot of different sonic templates which you will see on this list.  That's what an influence is, isn't it?

Bella: The Best Trouble We Ever Had

There is a vulnerability and a selflessness to being a good dog owner.  The last time I had been given responsibility of a dog was about 1983-84.  Max was a Great Dane and his death from parvovirus destroyed me as a kid.  Partially because I thought his getting into a stick of butter I dropped killed him.  Yes, the things that go through a 12 or 13 year old brain can be crazy.  My wife had a similar feeling but in a different way, her dog died in her arms as she waited in a vet's office.  Those things can scar you and make you not want to let another canine into your heart.

About 12 years ago, things changed.  I had a very odd scheduled shift that left the wife at home alone at night.  We decided to get David a dog for his 10th birthday.  I still remember buying a video camera just before we went shopping to record the occasion.  That tape is still in the recorder and I had plans to try to get it converted to digital for the future.  I don't know if I can now.  Anyhow, she sat between Kerry and David on the way home as we discussed names.  David didn't have any ideas, turned to his mother and asked, "What do you think?"  Kerry was really into the Twilight book series and told him she liked Bella.  And it was done.  We welcomed a little puggle named Bella home.

I suggest avoiding using cat laser pointers to play with your new puppies.  She loved it, but I think it may have led to her becoming the high energy dog she was.  Bella did her normal puppy teething and ruined several shoes and the dining room table chairs.  She learned that if she jumped high enough, she could get anything she wanted.  At one point, it was her dog food...which was a massive bag that she polished off.  The 2 bags of chocolate chips she downed made the wife believe we lost our dog but it was just one of many sleepless nights over things she'd ingest.  (Anti-fungal cream was just perplexing.)  Aside from that, she was a very smart dog.  But I would teasingly say that she was a good dog when she was tired or sleeping.

The addition of her "sister," Tulip, was meant to ease separation anxiety and balance things out.  It may have.  If anything, I think Bella taught Tulip some bad habits.  We recorded a few videos of their interactions.  Feel free to look for the Bella And Tulip Show on YouTube.  Part of that was because of their food obsession (seems to be a puggle thing) and sneakiness.  The two would do something I would call "parallel puggling" where they would nap parallel with each other all around the house.

We gave Bella a lot of massages after we brought her home to deal with some anxiousness.  She had a lot of trust in us.  Early mornings, she would spend what we would call "Mama Time" with Kerry by sitting on the edge of the bed with her and stare into her eyes while being pet.  Often, we would watch T.V. and she would hop up on the sofa and push her back into my wife's armpit to sit with us.  She would also run maniacally through the house doing laps when she got excited.  She would hop on my chest as I did workouts in the living room.  Imagine doing sit-ups or bench press with a dog on your chest.  She also had a weird love for my morning breath...nobody else, just mine.

We would have to "Bella-proof" the house before we leave to go anywhere.  Kitchen trash would have to be turned around, stuffed in and sometimes a weight put on top.  Doors to bathrooms would have to be shut.  Toilet paper rolls would have to be reversed, or we would find the paper winding down the hallway and under the dining table.  She was very ballsy.

2 years ago, she was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor on her left arm.  It was going to be biopsied but our doctor felt that it was a bigger risk to try removing it as it could aggravate it and spread since it seemed attached to either bone or muscle.  So she was put on a regime of Benadryl and acid reducer.  A round of steroids shrunk it down.

Last week, that tumor swelled up.  It started with a limp.  (Tulip started sympathy limping a day or two later.)  We took her into see the vet.  Another round of steroids and painkillers were the plan.  The limp got worse the next day as the whole leg started to swell up and wouldn't touch the ground as she walked.  I was in denial, thinking the steroids just hadn't kicked in yet.  It spread to her chest shortly afterward.  Fear was building in us as we knew this wasn't getting better.  Tulip kept wanting to check on Bella as she wasn't used to her laying down all the time.  The cry of pain as Tulip stepped on her leg several times would wake us from our numb thoughts.  We would spend Saturday and Sunday morning keeping Tulip away from her.

It was as we were watching church that I decided that we needed to know when the pain is too much for her.  A few searches really gave me some clarity and reading one to Kerry, she said, "Are you ready to take her in?"  We bawled.  I've cried more over this dog than the passing of any relative and feel like I have dishonored them.  She went peacefully and it will be a roller coaster of tears and sighs for a while.  The house is really quiet as Tulip is still looking around the house for her "sister."  We have started turning toilet paper rolls around, leaving doors open and leaving burritos unattended on tables.

I still get choked up talking about Bella.  Making your heart vulnerable is important in any relationship and I wouldn't be who I am without letting that little brown scamp into my life.  It's just going to take a long time to adjust.

Silver And Black Possibilities

I was going to go on a long diatribe about the history of the Raiders moving and the desire to have a stadium without a dirt in-field and unpainted concrete walls.  It just doesn't seem right.  What is weird is having a carrot dangled in front of you.  Just the idea of my team moving to my town is a bit crazy.  Think about it yourself for a moment.  Let's just say that your favorite team (which has a long history but problems with a current and foreseeable business dilemma) mentions where you live as a possible landing spot.  I admit to a lot of denial early on.  With the roller coaster the team has been on with moving, it would have been worse if I got excited about it.  But, I guess things are looking good.  We are hours away from the vote by the NFL owners on the relocation.

Having a good season made for an exciting year as a fan but also to see the excitement of my wife and son is priceless.  I even saw the Mrs. tear up when Derek Carr broke his leg.  Yet, it's even more interesting to see local football fans come to the realization that they could have games come to their town.  They could have something that brings the city together.  I have even heard several talk about a 'Las Vegas first' emotion taking over where they will always pull for a home team win despite being a Cowboys, Steelers or Packers fan.  Pretty crazy.  I guess, it will be an interesting day.  No matter how it goes, it is amazing that it has even become possibility.

Month To Remember

Note to self: Today was a crazy day and caps off an unbelievable month.  So, let's say it here that October 2016 needs to be recognized here on out.  Martin, when you think something is impossible, that the burdens you carry are too heavy or that you aren't worthy of what you have because of your past...remember this month.

Some clarification for readers: I had two great conversations this month that have given me a missing puzzle piece.  Perspective is like that.  When you are missing it, you feel incomplete.  You are drawn to that spot.  You may even resume searching for the piece at strange moments.  So, I am sincerely thankful and humbled.  No more searching.

Distance And The Eye Of The Hurricane

It intrigues me the perspective we gain when we are far enough removed from something.  Time is the distance that I found helped me understand a few things.  You see, as happily married as I am now, I believed that I was very shortly happily married at one time.  The big point is that the lessons you learn or didn't learn from your first car will make an impact on your current vehicle.  The habit formed from riding the gas level to its lowest point could cause problems in a newer vehicle that creates vapor lock.  So, something clicked with the past recently and I thought I'd use my regular vague way of expressing it.

At that point of previous happiness, I was really unaware of how unhappy she was.  The first hints were her wanting to take jobs in other states and later telling me that, when we were next to each other, everything is great but when we are apart -- she was unhappy.  I asked about therapy but that was turned down.  After asking for a separation and later an exit, I would look back thinking that maybe postpartum depression was involved.

During the last few years, I've regained my physical health.  I have a rather physically demanding job.  I had a moment of clarity recently when I started thinking about my previous physical well-being.  I had an earlier workday.  I would come home sore and tired.  I was popping ibuprofen and wrapping my wrists/ankles because of what I believed (and was told by doctors) were strains.  I gained weight.  My blood pressure went up.  I was chronically tired and also slept a lot more.  We stopped going out to do things.  Mentally, there were unresolved questions that I promised to brush aside for the stability of the relationship.  All these things have now made me think of one thing... I may have been going through depression.

Being in the moment, on the football field, you have only your vision around you, the sounds around you and your awareness.  Living is like that.  You are really in the eye of the hurricane and the ability to step back and review isn't often there.  Would things have been better if I stretched or exercised more back then?  Maybe.  Would things have been different if I got therapy?  It's very possible.  It took several years but I am in a much better place right now.  I forgive that younger me for being stuck in a moment and the ex for the direction things went.

All I know is that things seem more clear.  Now, it is all about how I put that knowledge to good use in the here and now as well as the future.  I am happier, healthier and hopefully a little more aware.  If this helps someone, I feel like I passed something on.

Life Update: 040214

Last month was pretty busy and it's a good time to wrap it up here.

We signed an offer on a home (still in Henderson) and should entirely be moved in by July 1.  A lot of work will be involved (with a month or more of projects before moving) but it just means all my viewing of DIY Network and HGTV will come to good use (and will probably include new ones to join my other TV show recordings.)

Moving is kind of like spring cleaning for pack rats.  So much so that you'd probably hear me squeak every time the family decides on what makes the cut and what goes to charity.  Books, DVDs, furniture... they will all go through some American Idol type of contest.  Which reminds me of that one series of posts I did years ago with my shirts here on the site.  Speaking of that, our first bags of clothes have been sent out.  I had 4 of those zip-lock type storage bags for clothes full of things Kerry had never seen before... some about 2 decades old.  I modeled the stuff and let her decide if she could bear seeing me in them.

Goals and attaining them, we finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel.  We've bee working with David on driving for quite some time.  First it was weekends in parking lots.  Then it was a few streets here and there.  During our summer trip, he drove a leg from Las Vegas to Baker.  David's next step was taking his driving test and, on top of a few other errors, one big one (in timing his entering into traffic) prevented them from passing him.  For the next few weeks, I had him drive to school with me while I drove the car back home.  Kerry would also take him out at night when she could.  He passed with a 95 on the last day of the month.  Yesterday was his first day driving to school without anyone in the care with him.  Ok, sure, I followed him... sue me.  He drove back home by himself.  Today he told me he was ready to go and I told him, "I think you are ready.  I'm not following you today."  He sent me a text when he arrived.

We've been pricing all the new appliances, tile and all sorts of things needed for the new house and the wife has been trying to calm me down.  I don't like numbers.  I really don't like numbers that have a real world meaning.  I like them even less when I start thinking, "Isn't someone giving something like this away on Craigslist or something?"

Kerry and I celebrated our 6th anniversary and decided to keep with our go to a different town each year trend with a trip to the Pahrump Winery and their Symphony restaurant.  Last time I was there was over 20 years ago.  The wine that is named for their restaurant was impressive as well as their red blend.  Wish I could have picked up a few bottles there but It looks like we will just have to make a return trip.  Kerry was pretty impressed with the food.  I was impressed with the company.  I am a lucky and blessed man that doesn't deserve to live this well.

Started a new workout called Focus T25 today.  I'm sure, once I adjust, I'll be alright but it's quite different from Les Mills Combat and I had a few shaky moments starting out.

Been doing some research on the Turtle Mountain Indian Reservation.  I really haven't talked about that part of the family here much but I am part Chippewa.  I think that I have visited there, at most, 3 times.  Once for St. John, North Dakota's 100th anniversary in 1982, once for grandpa's funeral and I believe once on a quick trip through on vacation (which could be confused with the first one as I was just about to turn 11.)  As one of the oldest structures in town, Grandpa's house has became a visitor's center.  I recently learned that he used to give out pennies during Halloween.  Well, you have to account for inflation but it was worth more back then.

Looks like we are going to be spending a lot of our vacation time this year working on the house.  We will still make it off to Sacramento and a few days in November for my brother's wedding.